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Traits of Resilient Children

One of the goals of our program is to teach students to be resilient.  Children who have the following traits are more successful in school, home, and the community.  As we teach the students new strategies and help them develop appropriate social skills at school, you can participate by working on these issues at home.   Below is a list of traits and some tips to help you support your son/daughter.   


Traits of Resilient Children

By:  Sam Goldstein and Robert Brooks


Social competency:  The ability to establish and sustain positive, caring relationships; to maintain a sense of humor; and to express compassion and empathy.

Resourcefulness:  The ability to critically, creatively and reflectively make decisions; to seek help from others; and to recognize ways to solve problems and resolve conflicts.

Autonomy:  The ability to act independently and exert some control over one's environment, to have a sense of one's identity and to detach from others engaged in risky or dysfunctional behaviors.

Sense of purpose:  The ability to foresee a bright future for oneself, to be optimistic and to aspire toward educational and personal achievement.

Tips for Parents

  • Verbally praise your son/daughter when he/she interact appropriately with peers
  • Take about how people might feel in a specific situation and encourage your child to contribute to the conversation
  • Encourage him/her to express their feelings openly (when your child is upset, tell him/her to use their words)
  • Respect your son/daughter by validating their feelings
  • Encourage your child to talk with you when he/she needs help
  • Have open communication at the dinner table each day
  • When your son/daughter is having a problem, ask him/her "What can you do to solve it?" (provide some options if your child is unable to come up with any solutions)
  • Praise you child when he/she completes a task independently
  • Prove your son/daughter with choices to give him/her some control (clothes, movie that you are going to watch, games that the family is going to play)
  • Talk to your child about the positive activities that will be happening the next day, next week (encourage them to look at the good things that are happening rather than to focus on the negative)
  • Let you child know how important you think education and personal achievement is
  • Role-model the traits that you want your child to demonstrate through your actions and words